Is it that I have nothing to say?
Is this what they call “writers block”?
Am I even a writer?
Am I even a photographer?
Around the block
are two parks in Auckland that have left me with minimal to say
and only moments to photograph.
A dormant volcano just outside Auckland CBD –
The sun started to set and it was literally the perfect place to be for the experience in the city. The only thing that could of made this better was perhaps a heavier jacket as the winds were incredibly strong and being blown into the crater felt like a possibility at any moment. There was a fog in the horizon where the sun was setting and it created a cloudy blanket over the surrounding suburb in a soft, warm, and powerful light upon our faces. Turn your eyes slightly to the left and there was a rain storm that we watched build and move closer for minutes. We felt a light mist from the storm, however luckily the rain missed us on top of Mt. Eden, but it sure gave us an adrenaline filled sight. Turn your eyes back to the right in the direction of the Sky Tower and see blue skies with a glistening sunset kissed city below.
The city portal to and through the forest –
The sun was setting with perfect timing, once again, at another Auckland park. Walking along the path I could feel the sun between the tree branches and was blinded by its strobe light effect. The colors of fire filled the insides of my eyelids. The leaves crunching beneath our feet drowned the sounds of the busy city just outside the park. The unanimous unspoken silence of anyone near left the birds to fill the void.
the pain that lingers is the weight you have bestowed upon me.
so heavy at times I can feel my world crashing
and my heart empty in a matter of seconds.
the feeling of permanence terrifies the young girl in me who wants only love and happiness but fears this common wave of emotions will destroy all hope.
hope that the words and actions resinating in my being
will one day fade
into the dark depth of rejected emptiness where you left me.
your lack of empathy so apparent and shocking
a needle to my skin felt tranquil.
a butterfly tattoo that now marks my body
in parallel to the metamorphosis you catapulted me into.
forced by fate to fly on my own into the melancholy haze that consumed my existence.
the mask you ripped off was merely your fictitious character in disguise of something I thought to be indefinite. a classic case of blinding under the influence of love.
its force too powerful to see the truth.
too powerful to ignore.
too powerful to believe in anything alternative.
any source of contentment.
any sign that wholeness was within reach.
but I found myself through the tall mountain tops,
lush green forests and oceans of the world.
to prevail was the undoubting option in the pool of uncertainty.